The Positive Memory Project: A Mother’s Lesson On Fun

Today I would like to start a new project. We can call it The Positive Memory Project (if we’re naming it, but I don’t know if it needs one). I’ve been doing this thing, where my brain will flash through my head vivid images that are attached to strong negative emotions. It will happen at the most random times, and feels like a punch in the gut followed by hours of a low mood that I have to ignore or wallow through. The images are of my mother on her death bed, struggling through her last couple days of life. And every single time they flash through my head it makes me sick and sad. Sick and sad, sick and sad, I’m so tired of being that way. So, I’ve decided to counteract this happening by focusing on all the awesome memories of the coolest mom there ever was.

There are so many, I’ll just pick a few for today. Let’s get this memory party started, shall we?

Memory 1: I couldn’t have been more than ten or eleven years old when our washing machine flooded sudsy water across our kitchen floor. There must have been an inch of water covering most of the kitchen floor, and while my mom left the room to gather cleaning supplies to fix the flood, I discovered the sudsy water made for excellent ice skating-like conditions. I skated, or hydroplaned, my way around the soapy wet kitchen floor, knowing full well that I’d be in trouble when she came back. She took one look at a crappy situation being made worse, and started laughing and let me continue to skate and slip my way around the kitchen for a little while until she could get the water to stop leaking.

The Truth About Blondes Blog // The Positive Memory Project: A Mother's Lesson On Fun

Memory 2: My brother and I liked to make potions, and by potions I mean concoctions made from everything we could find in the kitchen cabinets that would mix up with liquids. Even though it wasted her spices and baking needs, made huge messes in the kitchen, and possibly could’ve poisoned us, she let us do this a few times a year.

Memory 3: The park near our house had swings with dirt underneath them. On rainy days, or hot days with the sprinklers on, we’d head over to the park to play in the puddles that would form under the swings. One particular day, we were swinging and dragging our feet through the puddles and discovered that we could splash the water from the puddles up over our heads completely soaking ourselves from head to toe. Any other mom would’ve freaked out about her kids soaking themselves in dirty muddy water, but she just laughed and let us do it. From then on the rule was, “You can swing through the mud puddles, if you hose off outside before coming in the house.” You mean, we can play and get muddy and then run through the sprinklers and play with the hose? BEST MOM EVER!

What did I learn from all these memories? My mom valued experiences and fun over a clean house and clean kids. She let us explore and get dirty, and laugh a lot. She taught me to get out there and have fun because this life is for laughter and swinging through mud puddles. I was lucky, guys, I knew it the whole time she was alive, and I still do. I fully intend to swing through mud puddles when I have kids. I might even let them have special, magical, potion-making classes with me in the kitchen from time to time.

Did your parents teach you how to have fun? If so, what ways did they show you life was for laughter?

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14 Comments on “The Positive Memory Project: A Mother’s Lesson On Fun

  1. Okay, totally made me tear up. This is pretty much my GOAL as a mother. To have my daughter (and hopefully more kids later) remember me as the fun, cool mom that (as a disciplinarian) could still have fun. I want their memories of me to be positive & to know that I won’t always react stern or mad about situations. I think, I get so caught up in keeping a clean house, and a clean balanced kid – that I forget that sometimes she needs to be dirty to truly experience life. Thanks for the reminder & for the project – I’m on board.

  2. this is so great! I did learn a lot from my dad as far as having fun goes.. he was always making jokes and we attended a lot of sporting events… so definitely, my fun side was created partially by moments with my father ;o)

  3. I remember making a bunch of crazy potion concoctions with perfume, shampoo, and whatever else I could find in the house. That sure does bring back memories! My mom didn’t even get mad when I played in the dirt, though she did make me go straight to the shower after :)

  4. What a beautiful post! I want to focus on fun, positive memories as well. At 5 weeks away from the arrival of my first baby, I hope I can be a loving, fun, caring mom and that my kids have these positive memories.

  5. I too was known for making potions in the kitchen too! One of my favorite childhood memories! Love the happy carefree memories you have of your mom!

  6. Hello,

    I saw that you followed my blog (In Her Lens) on Bloglovin’ – so I decided to check you out. 2 things: 1. I lost my mom at a young age (she was 41, I was 15). So, I completely understand that loss/heartache. 2. I am currently raising money for childhood cancer (I know, it’s not the same, but still) by shaving my head for St. Baldrick’s (https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/740778/2015).

    I just wanted to share those two things with you. I can’t wait to read more of your blog/get to know you better.

    xo

    • Thank you for your kind words! I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I think it’s great you’re raising money for childhood cancer. It’s such a tragic thing for children to get sick.

      You’re welcome to dig through the archives, I wrote a lot about her cancer over the past couple of years. I’ve also started a new project so I can refocus my energies on something positive instead of dwelling on grief. It’s called The Joy Blog. You can find it here – http://www.thejoyblog.net.

      I love your photography. It’s beautiful!

  7. Hello,

    I saw that you followed my blog (In Her Lens) on Bloglovin’ – so I decided to check you out. 2 things: 1. I lost my mom at a young age (she was 41, I was 15). So, I completely understand that loss/heartache. 2. I am currently raising money for childhood cancer (I know, it’s not the same, but still) by shaving my head for St. Baldrick’s (https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/740778/2015).

    I just wanted to share those two things with you. I can’t wait to read more of your blog/get to know you better.

    xo

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Flash back Friday to this photo from my cement patio garden in Summer 2016. My Minnesota Midget melon was just starting to climb the trellis. I can't wait to see what grows in my garden next year. Everything in my new yard is going to sleep right now. Spring will be a sort of introduction to the garden. 🌈To see me say goodbye to my old garden, click the link in my profile. 🌈 Happy fall, from my backyard. 🍁
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